The Challenge of Reading

At the beginning of every calendar year, one of my colleagues launches the reading challenge that she has spent the previous months pulling together. Some of these challenges she makes up, some she finds online and some are provided by the winners of the previous year from each of our library branches. Most of her co-workers and some of our patrons grab the sheet listing the 24 challenges as soon as the New Years fuss has died down. We start off with great gusto, picking through the list. Some begin with the easy ones, like “Read a book by one of your favourite authors” or “Read a book with a protagonist who shares your occupation”. Some with their least favourite which, depending on your taste, might be “read a book with a non-human character” or “read a book about politics”.

Tick, tick, the first two are checked off with no trouble at all. It’s January, it’s cold; reading is therapy against grey skies and black dogs. Commitment and determination are brought into play. This challenge will be conquered.

Each participant approaches the challenge differently. Some spend hours carefully researching every category. Some rely on the provided cheat sheet and do no research themselves at all. Some go one further and expect the library staff to amass all the books for them. These are the patrons for whom the annual reading challenge has become a blood sport. They must win at all costs and are damned if time will be wasted finding their own reading materials. Several have also been known to add books that they read for a previous challenge. Subterfuge and skullduggery are often employed. The race is on, and ferocious attempts are made to finish first, with a great deal of fuss to be made.

By now you will be thinking that the prizes for this exciting contest must be phenomenal. They are not. No, it’s the kudos that is sought; the bragging rights and the winning streak to uphold. As such, the competition is fierce and woe betide the library branch that fails to provide the required book at the appointed time!

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Yolanda Santamaria/Rad Retro/Pinterest

Continue reading “The Challenge of Reading”

Conquering Nürburgring

James wheeled himself into the pits. Today was the day. He had dreamed of this moment since the accident had left him paralyzed ten years before. Ten years a speed demon trapped in a chair. You’ll never drive again, the doctors said, but never was not a word James was familiar with. He would drive again and his first time out would not be any old street troll. No, he was going to conquer Nürburgring/The Green Hell.

He breathed in the heady mix of pine, exhaust and high octane fuel. The racetrack, nestled in a wooded area of Germany, had been his goal, top of his bucket list since he was a boy, watching legendary drivers like Stuck and Zakowski tackle the extreme course. When he became a junior test driver for BMW, he thought his life was made.      24 years old and on top of the world. Until that day, and the ultimate irony.  It wasn’t a driving accident. No, skiing top speed into a tree did the damage; left him a quad in a chair.

Helmet on; his teammates lifted him into the Porsche Spyder that sat gleaming in the shaft of sun that broke briefly through the heavy clouds. He fastened his chest belt, sat back and revved the specially adapted hand paddles. The Porsche gave an appreciative growl. He was ready!

He was booked for one round but he was going for two. The first, to feel out the course. The second, to be the real deal. It was pouring again. Conditions were slick; concentration was prime. He eased the powerful car around the curves; steady as she goes; skills still at his fingertips. This was Nürburgring. He had arrived. One of his team gave him the chequered flag as he crossed the finish line. He waved as he passed the pits, heading for round two and glory.

250k: the Spyder achieved airborne at Bergwerk. James didn’t care. He’d conquered Nürburgring. He was free!

Clo Carey Feb/20

Blog challenge “Spider” one-word prompt

#SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @passionate_perspective @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626          #amwriting #writingprompt #shortstory #Nürburgring #PorscheSpyder

#write28days Feb12

Errors are my own.

The Bubble Car

My parents bought their first car the year that I was born. I don’t know what make it was. I do know that it was black and had running boards and those pop out turn signals. Neither of them could drive and it sat in our driveway in England for two years until we moved to Canada and it was left behind.

Once ensconced in Toronto, it became clear that a car was a necessity. Mum was not keen on shopping-by-transit with two small kids, and Dad needed wheels to get to locations where he worked as a cameraman. They bought a two-tone turquoise boat of a Chevy. It too sat in the driveway. They still couldn’t drive. They didn’t take lessons, but drove relative’s cars around for a bit and then took the test. Mum failed it four times, scoring an absolute fail first time out by reversing the car into a snowbank from which even the examiner couldn’t extricate it. Dad, with great glee, only failed twice.

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When the required pieces of paper were finally obtained, road trips became a thing. As Dad was often away, these were usually undertaken by the three of us. We never travelled light and the Chevy’s cavernous interior was loaded to capacity. Our two Westies took possession of the back window ledge. My brother and I, plus two enormous teddy bears, pillows and every other possible method of entertainment occupied the back seat, with Mum and the picnic basket in the front. Most of our trips were made to wherever Dad was currently filming and those usually involved camping.

Mum would begin the preparations a week in advance, with lists that were frequently lost and re-written and intense supply shopping. Then the packing ensued. Our huge Inuit tent, complete with center poles, guy ropes, and tent pegs would go into the car first taking the three of us some manoeuvering to load. Next went the camp cots with their metal frames, the camp stove, the lanterns, the deck chairs, and folding table. In went the dry goods, cases full of clothes for all weathers and enough bedding to keep us toasty for months to come. Finally, on the day of departure, the icebox, filled with perishables and a block of ice in a metal container; and the wicker picnic basket were loaded in. A procession would exit the house. My brother and I would settle bears, dolls, pillows, stuffies, colouring books, storybooks, snacks, crayons, blankets and the dogs in the back seat. My mother would rush back and forth with forgotten flashlights and first aid kits; rain boots and fishing rods; triple checking all the windows and doors in the house before we were finally cleared for take-off. Only then would the adventure begin.

One such adventure began with a phone call from my father. He was filming somewhere in the wilds of Algonquin Park, Ontario and had borrowed a Heinkel Bubble car in order to get around. The problem was the getting around, because he wasn’t. Bubble cars are minute and three-wheeled. They are in no way an off-road vehicle. This one had the added foible of conking out every time it stopped. The Chevy was needed urgently. My mother was to drive up, make the switch and return with the Bubble. A panic-stricken pack of the camping gear ensued and early the next day our menagerie headed in a northerly direction out of the city. The journey up was smooth sailing; no doubt our overnight camp was equally uneventful. The trip back down the next day was anything but.

Continue reading “The Bubble Car”

The Signs Are All There

Joe bumped through the door, the contents of the tray sliding precariously then settling as he straightened it out.

“How are you today, Mum? Here’s your breakfast.”

“Ah Joey, you are a good boy. Such a good boy to your old mum.”

Joe hooked his arms under her armpits and heaved her upwards, yanking the pillows into a hummock behind her back. He could feel the bones through the crepey skin. She smelt of pee and old person. He moved over to the window and opened the curtains. It was a dour day outside with rain pending. Joe glowered at the clouds.

“Window open or shut?”

“Shut, I think dear, it looks like rain.” With an exhausted sigh, she leaned back against the pillows. They aren’t very comfortable but she hasn’t the strength to move them.

Joe placed the tray on her knees, slopping some of the tea. “There you are, tea and toast just the way you like them.”

“Thank you, Joey.”

“I’ll look in on you later. Take the tray away.” Joe whistled his way down the stairs and into the kitchen where he tucked into his fry-up. Breakfast finished, he poured himself a second cup of tea and took it into the living room; turfing the cat off the couch. The remains of last night’s fish and chips licked down to the paper. Stupid cat. He turned on the telly but doesn’t watch, preferring the company rather than the content. He flicked to the want ads in the paper; reading each one carefully. There’s nothing he’s qualified to do. Nothing that interests him.  He’d like to be an astronaut or a detective but hasn’t the least clue where to get those kinds of jobs. Truth be told, he hasn’t had a job since he was laid off in his thirties. But he needs to do something.  Mum isn’t going to last much longer. The signs are all there. The wasting, the pain, the shortness of breath. All signs of a person in decline. A person not long for this world. Without her pension, well…

Joe sighed. He was a house painter for a few months but fell off the ladder and spilled paint all over the pavement and that was the end of that. He can make curry and boiled eggs and toast but that was the extent of his culinary skills. He can grow weed but now that it was regulated, for his own use only. He could try his hand at dog walking but most of the folks round here walked their own dogs and they were all on the dole too.

His caseworker at the job center told him to bring a list of his skills the next time he came to sign on. Said they would help him work on his curriculum vitae. The story of his work life. Not that there was much to tell.

She’d been telling him for years and he never had. This time she said if he didn’t, he wouldn’t get any money. Joe sighed again. He knew the signs. This person was losing patience with him. He’d better do as she asked. Joe fetched a pencil from the drawer in the kitchen and wrote on the back of an old flyer. It wasn’t a very long list.

Listening – he was good at that.

Music – he liked to sing in the bath on Saturdays nights.

Grow Cannabis – he had his own grow-op in the basement.

Delivering – he couldn’t drive but he could fetch and carry.

Neutering animals – he saw it on the telly and knew all about it.

After much thought, he added, “I would like to try dog walking or being an astronaut if there are any jobs for that”.

There, that should do. He folded his list and put it in his back pocket; grabbed his jacket and left the house. Soon he would have a job and his worries would be behind him. With a feeling of accomplishment, he strode out towards the Job Center and was killed instantly when a billboard fell on his head.

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Media Focus

 

Clo Carey Feb/20

Blog challenge One Word Prompt: Signs

#SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @passionate_perspective @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626               #amwriting #writingprompt  #blogchallenge

#write28days Feb8

Tastes Sooo Good

Funny how memories can be triggered by a scent or even a taste. In my case, a box of Harvest Crunch cereal. Every time I eat it I am transported back to the time my brother and I made the trip across Canada by train. Yes, those were the days when the train went the width of the continent; the early days of Via Rail. We were living in England, my brother just graduated from art school and wondering what future to pursue; me jobless and searching for life. A family trip to Canada to visit relatives and memories was proposed and we jumped at it.

Our early childhood was spent in Toronto. We had seen snippets of Ontario, Quebec and Nova Scotia but never explored the sheer scale of the country. There was no doubt in our minds, the only way to do it was by train. With next to no money in our pockets, we bought 21 day passes for Daynighter accommodation in Montreal and, to save money, also purchased some non-perishable food to stave off starvation along the way. One of those items was, of course, a box of Harvest Crunch cereal.

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Those were the days when meals on charter airlines were served in little plastic containers with plastic cups and cutlery. Knowing that we would be travelling, we stuck them into the carry-on (carry-off) luggage and so were well equipped for frugal picnics on our train trip. Every morning we went to the snack bar and bought a carton of milk. Every morning we poured milk and Harvest Crunch into the little bowls that we had purloined from our flight, and ate it with our filched plastic spoons.

We met some real characters on the trip across this great land; the gracious English woman who was returning to her home in BC. The disturbed mother who took her kids into the washroom and gave them a belting, although they behaved impeccably. The party types who passed a bottle and got off at every stop to smoke; people who stayed on and read for the entire trip, or those who departed in the middle of the night. We saw some extraordinary sights. A chair and table set up for train watching somewhere in the middle of Ontario’s endless rocks and lakes and trees. The striations of colour in the landscape. The dusty, heat-baked windswept corners of Winnipeg where we were allowed an hour to stroll. The swathes of prairies undulating wheat as far as the eye could see. The mind-boggling Rockies, passage through which held us spellbound for the entire day in the observation car. Vancouver, so overwhelming a city that, after a day on the island, sent us scuttling for the safety of the train and the return journey. It was the last time my brother and I spent any extended time in each other’s company without family and hangers-on and oceans between us. It all comes back clear as day when I dig in my spoon and savour the first bite of that Harvest Crunch cereal.

Quaker® Harvest Crunch®

Clo Carey Feb/20

Blog challenge #SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @passionate_perspective @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626                                          #amwriting #writingprompt #HarvestCrunch #Quaker #taste #cereal

#write28days Feb5

32 Counties

Monday was a bad, bad day. I got supplementary homework because of my misbehavior. It wasn’t that I misbehaved so badly. I don’t think it’s so bad to let off a stink bomb in the washroom. Josh does that every time he goes in there, after all, only he doesn’t even need a stink bomb. Mr. Thomas said it was aggreggrious behavior whatever that is. He spent a long time thinking up what my supplementary homework would be.  He said because I was a repeat offender it should be really bad. Then he told me that I should Google Ireland and make up sentences for every single one of the counties there.  I said what’s a county and he said it’s like a province only smaller and I would find out when I Googled it.

Now, I’m okay at Googling but you have to understand that Social is one of my bad subjects. Most subjects are my bad subjects but Social is the worst. I’m thinking, how can I get out of this supplementary homework at the same time that I’m trying to think what Ireland is. Then I remember it’s an island somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic. And I think it’s really small because Mr. Thomas told us you could drop it into Lake Ontario and it would never be seen again even if it was a hundred times bigger or something like that. I thought, if it’s so small it can’t have that many of those mini provinces. I got the shock of my life when I Googled it. 32 counties it has. 32 sentences I have to write. Talk about overkill. They must be out of their gourds over there. 32 mini provinces. Well, I thought there’s no way I’m spending time on 32 separate sentences. The best I can do is lump them all in a story. So I printed off the whole list and got down to it. This is how it goes.

Image result for many of the counties of ireland

Continue reading “32 Counties”

Nuclear-Free Zone

I had one of those flashes of memory, long forgotten, that pop to the surface, clamouring for investigation, after pondering our current writers’ group word prompt “outline”.  It began with the mundane. What do I know of outlines apart from outlining a story, which I rarely do; my own, ever-expanding outline, which I try to ignore; the outlines of a pattern for a hooked mat, which I rarely attempt these days.

This particular memory is of an event that occurred around 1989-90. Sometime during that year, I participated in a spot of civil disobedience. This was a rare event for me. I was too young for the anti-Vietnam war demos and in the wrong place for Red Lion Square its ilk. I get claustrophobic in crowds because I’m short. That’s my excuse, anyway. On this occasion, however, I felt strongly enough that I got out there and did something. This was in Toronto; let’s face it, not a city known for much civil unrest. I must have seen the call to action in one of the free newspapers that were handed out on the street corner near where I worked; the intersection of Yonge and Bloor; center of the universe. We were encouraged to bring others and I recruited my parents and my husband. We foregathered late that Sunday evening in the basement of a local church.

It was, for the most part, a young crowd. Aromas of patchouli and weed hung heavy in the air. We were given long strips of parcel paper which we placed on the floor and then lay down on top of.  One or other of us drew around our entire outline and we each followed up by cutting out our one-dimensional selves. After that, we were given a map, a bucket of whitewash and a large brush. Our area, I seem to remember, was around the Queen, College, Bathurst area. Others of the group spread out across the city center.

We walked for miles, stopping every few meters to lay down our body pattern and paint our outlines, crime scene style, all over deserted Toronto city streets. This wasn’t a crime scene, although the police did know about it; keeping an indulgent, if distant eye on proceedings. No, this was an anti-nuclear, anti-weapons-of-mass-destruction demonstration and our silhouettes represented what would be left behind if Toronto was hit.

The group outlined thousands of images that night but despite our massed efforts, they represented only a fraction of Toronto’s millions. To cap off our night of protest, we painted our final silhouettes just outside the door where we worked. They greeted us as they greeted millions of others when we headed in to work on Monday morning. It was a sobering sight.

Clo Carey Feb/20

Chalk body outline clipart

http://clipart-library.com/murder-outline-cliparts.html

South Shore Scribes one-word prompt: “Outline” blog challenge #SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @passionate_perspective @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626 #amwriting #onewordprompt #OneWord

#write28days Feb1

 

* I’m attempting the Write 28 Days blog challenge in an effort to jump-start my blogging efforts. Blogs will be split between Teetering on the Edge and dottieodearyconversations.wordpress.com – have to let her have her say occasionally, otherwise she’ll get stroppy.

 

 

 

Snow

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Yolanda flips through a Vogue on the couch, bemoaning her life, it’s lack of glamor, it’s zero excitement, it’s nil romance. She dreams of champagne in the afternoon and floating gowns of chiffon worn on snow-white beaches. One glance at her surroundings is enough to send her spiralling down the depression staircase. Barry entering at that moment, seals the deal. His smell fills the space.

“It’s snowing,” he says, shaking his head over top of her; chuckling as the dandruff floats down. “Yeyo, Yola baby, I wanna get snowed.”

“Oh yay!” says Yolanda with no enthusiasm at all.

“I’ve got an 8ball,” says Barry, waving a baggie of soft white powder in front of her nose.

Yolanda ignores him; staring at the magazine pages.

“I saw the ski instructor. This is fresh snow. Fell today. He had a chicken of the stuff. A whole Ki, imagine. Score, huh? Blow the bugles, Babe, that’s my kinda cake.”

Yolanda sighs, watching his pants slide down as he bends over, cutting the lines. Is this all life has to offer? A lint filled (or was it lint) butt crack in a tiny, grimy apartment?

“Come and join me at the rails, Babe. It’ll only take a jiff. Hahaha man I crack myself up sometimes. Ha ha ha. You get it Babe, Jif, crack? Hahaha!”

Yolanda shakes her head, still flipping pages.

“Just a little sniff, Babe. “

“Naw, I’m quitting. Gotta get out of this rats nest.” Get away from you she thinks.

Barry shrugs. Bending over the lines, he snorts each one in quick succession. “Man, that

rocks my world. He slides a wet finger through the dust of soft powder. “Hmmm

dessert.” Finger to his gums, a puzzled expression on his face he falls face forward.

Yolanda sighs, “I guess you’re snowed now, Barry.” She picks up her phone with gilded

nails and taps 911. “Ambulance please, suspected overdose.”

That solves one problem, she thinks and she sits back to wait for the future.

 

Image result for pictures of cocaine

 

Snow – Clo Carey January 2020

Nonsense story – cocaine slang

Photo credits: Getty Images and Clo Carey

South Shore Scribes one-word prompt: “Snow” blog challenge #SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @passionate_perspective @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626 #amwriting #onewordprompt #OneWord #cocaineslang

The Final Amen

Way back in my teen years, I auditioned for and was invited to join a 50 voice adult choir. We did the rounds of nursing homes and hospitals, as well as competing in the occasional choral competition. The repertoire was quite varied and ranged between medleys of folk songs to full-on productions of The Creation and Brahms Requiem; bits of which were often edited by our director, a fearsome musical martinet, who felt our vocal talents weren’t quite up to certain scores. She was probably right. With ages ranging from 17 – 70 and not a professional among us, we relied on enthusiasm to carry us through and as such were very popular with our various audiences.

The Trostan Singers on 'Merrily On High' (1975)

One particular favourite was our annual Christmas performance of the Messiah which, as some will know was first performed at Easter in my home town of Dublin. The choir knew it quite well and as a result, rehearsals were scanty which meant lots of extra work for us newcomers who were unfamiliar with singing it. For me it was even harder, for despite having taken theory classes and studied piano and a year of violin, I couldn’t really read music and was extremely shy and nervous about performing in public. Recognizing I had a problem, I knuckled down, cranked up the record player and learnt the entire work by ear.

November turned to December and along came our dress rehearsal in the performance venue, a local church. Our director had enough pull to attract some pretty big name Irish soloists and the pressure was on us to come up to their professional standard. Gone was the rehearsal piano, replaced by the church organ and, wonder of wonders, a trumpet soloist. We took our places and much to my discomfort, I found myself in the front row; the first alto next to the sopranos, and right under the director’s eagle eye. Somehow we got through, me doing my darnedest not to wander into soprano mode while singing the bits I wasn’t too sure of as quietly as possible. Luckily the full-throated gusto of the others hid my many musical deficiencies.

Finally, we were pronounced as ready as we’d ever be. The following night we all assembled, the men in evening dress, the ladies in freshly ironed turquoise blouses and floor-length black skirts, which in my case was homemade. We were greeted with enthusiastic applause as we filed in and the resplendently dressed soloists took their places. The church was packed to the rafters with smiling faces.

The performance went very well, despite inevitable nerves and the alto soloist suffering from a head cold. The sopranos hit the high notes, the audience rose en masse for the Hallelujah chorus, the trumpet sounded and I somehow managed to keep my place in the score. We hit the Amen chorus at a galloping pace and the relief of seeing the end in sight was palpable. For the most part, we got the ahs and the men in the right spots, with the soloists all joining in.

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For some reason, the director liked to pull out the rest between the penultimate and the final amen, perhaps testing our nerve, perhaps waiting for complete silence before blasting the audience one final time. That final amen never happened, however, for into the golden silence a voice in the balcony said “What bus are you getting home, Doris?” and we all collapsed into laughter.

It’s been some years now since I’ve sung in a choir although I’ve participated in some wonderful sing-along Messiah’s through the years. Come the Christmas season, however, I still love digging out my score, cranking up the volume and belting out every part of that fabulous work.

 

 

Trostan Singers photo credit: RTE.ie

YouTube Choir Parts Amen Chorus Alto part as it should be sung.

South Shore Scribes memoir prompt: Christmas Story blog challenge “Christmas” #SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca/ https://wordsbywhittall.blogspot.com/ @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626 #Christmas #TheMessiah #Christmaschoral #amwriting #onewordprompt #OneWord

Keep it in the Family

Giphy 2

 

“You’re the next generation, son, you have to learn the ropes.”

“But I don’t want to.”

“Ah now, son! Why would you not wish to follow in your old dad’s footsteps, and that of his dad and his before him?”

“I don’t think it’s an honourable profession.” Kicks at gravel.

“Honourable! How can you say that? It’s been our profession since the days of horse and buggy. We adapted to the coming of the motor car, didn’t we? How can you say it’s not honourable.”

“Well it’s not, it’s dishonest.” Hands in pockets.

“Dishonest! And what would you call those gougers in government? What would you call shareholders and CEOs in the banks and the insurance trade. Dishonest! Not an honest man among them and you call into question the honour of your families profession?”

“We get our earnings by dishonest means. That’s not honourable.” Head down, pouting.

“Us and 90% of the rest of the population.”

“That’s semantics. We get money through trickery. I want no part of it. I want to do something honourable.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Maybe journalism.”

“Ha! You don’t think those fuckers cheat. Bringing severed limbs to accident sites and misrepresenting the truth.”

“They’re not all like that.”

“How would you know?”

Shrug

Silence

“Will you not give it a try? Just once?”

“No, I told you.”

Takes a drag on a cigarette and tosses it aside. “I don’t understand. I mean look around you. This house, your fancy schooling, the exotic vacations. If we didn’t have our profession, we’d have none of it.”

“It means nothing. I don’t want any of it.”

“You do realize your standard of living will drop considerably if you leave the fold.”

“It’s nothing against the family, Da, I just want a normal life.”

“But can’t you see, if you’re not for us you’re against us and we can’t have that.”

“Is that a threat?”

“We think of it from our point of view. Think of all you know. Having you loose in the world would not allow us to sleep any easier.”

“You’d threaten your own son?”

“I have the honour of the family to consider.”

Silence.

“I mean look at you. You have the perfect build for it. You’re athletic; you’re quick on your feet; good at gymnastics and judo. These are important skills. Uncle Benjy would be happy to put you through your  paces again. Polish up the manoeuvres that are rusty. You used to love it as a kid. You were one of the best.”

“I was one when I was a kid?”

“You were indeed. Best we’d ever seen. Your timing was impeccable. They never knew what hit them. And of course, being a kid, the payoffs were terrific.” Lights another cigarette.

“How come I don’t remember?”

Shrugs “There was the concussion the one time. That might have done it.”

“And I was good at it?”

“You were. Made us pots of money. Best fall artist we ever had.”

“So you pimped me out even then?”

“Ah now son, don’t look at it like that.”

“I’m leaving Dad. I’m outta here.”

“Suit yourself.” Tosses the cigarette. Grinds it underfoot.

The garden gate clicks.

A screech of brakes. A thud.

“Mind your back there, son, mind your back.”

 

Clo Carey – September 2019

South Shore Scribes One Word prompt: fall

blog challenge “Fall” #SouthShoreScribesNS @www.emilybowers.ca   @https://chasscribbless.blogspot.com @https://www.facebook.com/groups/1470587219691626 #Fall #nonsensewriting #amwriting #onewordprompt #OneWord